Diary of an unconscious mother: Day 15 Friday Unravelling

Weirdly and with no organising planning or initiating from me, this morning, the girls and I are all ready and in the car by 9am. They want to go to the skate park again...a hobby, a challenge, at last perhaps? Barry had already given them breakfast and I decided to be nappy free with Millie.

offending article

The battery has gone flat again. An hour later, a small plot losing from me and a tearful call to hubby about where the leads go, a jump start from SIL and we are on the way to the skate park again.

It may seem, to some, like I have things under control. That I know what I am doing, but it's all an illusion. It takes a lot of hard work on my part!! One false move and it all comes tumbling down. Like live leads sparking on a live car. That'll do it.

So an hour later, we arrive in the park (which is literally 5minutes or less away by car). Ordinarily we could have walked, would have taken about 30mins maybe more, but I'm not risking it with my injury and back and anyway we need the car later.

The dog walks himself. He is used to us being in a fenced off area, so he drops the ball through the gaps or plays with other dogs. Another hour later, the girls have hardly biked/scooted but instead eaten everything I had brought for snacks. So it was a picnic in the skate park really. I tried not to be exasperated and enjoy the moment but I did find myself saying a few times. "come on, enough already with the food, go skate". I also see THE most amazing sight which I tried to get on film but missed. I hope to see it again. It was a dad on his skateboard holding his son and going on a few of the tubes. Obviously not the full on skate malarkey but still waaaay cool!!

patient Riley dog

On way out of the Playpark (went there too) we are sidetracked by the pottery painting place and visitors centre. I know Ellie wants to go to the pottery painting place but she couches it in looking at visitors centre. She doesn't give the centre a second glance and goes straight over to the pottery part. They know I have no money. We have had the ' have you got any money for the bouncy castle world?' question at least 700times. So Ellie asks if she can just look. I know Ellie's just looking. It becomes just touching. Or just eating a wee bit. Or just breaking or just finishing. Anyway I go with the flow and they look at all the pottery. She picks out a mermaid as her favourite and sets it on the table. she then speaks to the pottery man and asks if she can pick out ones she likes and put them on the table. He is ok with that. He is distracted and talking to his coworker...silly man! 5mins later the table is full of pottery. Both girls have practically picked out all the ceramics and the pottery man is agog! He takes it well, laughs it off, he thought they meant just one or two. I breathe a sigh of relief that he didn't get angry. I return them whilst the girls intently watch someone else paint their ceramic. Poor girls, vicarious pottery painters.

In the afternoon we went to a friends Story time in a lovely second hand boutique. Maia is tired and wants me to read to her in a side room! Go figure!!

We pick up daddy from work and go home for dinner and lovely evening with the girls playing together.

Ellie often confuses Maia into complying. Hubby thinks she takes the path of least resistance. I know that sometimes she does this and I know that sometimes it pisses her off that Ellie gets to be the' boss' all the time. I know becauseshe told me. I am wondering our best way to resolve this. I listened to her complain to me about it. For now that was enough. It's a sister thing. She has some tools to handle it. I think she needs more. I'll think about it and see what opportunities come.

For the most part, growing up, I think we were left alone to fight it out. I know now I would have preferred gentle guidance and 'interference'. I know the girls prefer it. I've asked them and also they will seek me out during exceptionally heated incidents.